Do you all know who you really are? More so, do you let yourself be who you want to be?
Although I most definitely have been “Me” my whole life, I have not expressed nor entertained the wants, passions, and interests that I so long for. I was married young, started my family young and devoted myself to just that. I held back to raise my children to the absolute best that I could do. I will pat myself on the back that I did a marvelous job and have raised three beautiful, intelligent, responsible girls. Although motherhood is never done, I feel the time has come to start expanding my desires. As we all know I am turning 40 in a couple weeks and I am also graduating which was one of my biggest life goals. I worked hard to get there and intend to use all my learning’s, but I am definitely going to be fulfilling other goals in life now.
Recently, I had a very special past relationship reappear into my life. Well, honestly it has never been gone and it was brought to the table a couple times, but it was not the right time in life in the past 20 years. Although some circumstances are involved, it is now the time! I bring this up because being entwined in these emotions and feelings has made my inner, held-back personality shine!! I love who I am with him and I love what is happening. I will admit that I was happy in past relationships and thought things were awesome and expressed that, but to my closest friends, I expressed concern and question. Never have I had a relationship where I have not done that. I believe in expressing positive happenings, because who wants to hear crap? Not me! Although, I was extremely happy most of the time, there has always been that “something” missing and this was even in my marriage and I knew it and felt it but rode the storm anyways and learned to adapt to my surroundings and what I had at hand. I have that feeling that I have longed for all my life, it was there instantly. I am enjoying it and riding with it as long as I can. I feel it is intense and strong enough that it will most definitely be conquered and it will have the result we both want and need.
Normally, I am so open about my life happenings with all, but this is a bit too special right now to completely share, because right now it is MINE, OURS and I am soaking in all I can. It is the most amazing all over feeling I have ever experienced and I don’t want to lose an ounce of it. Plus the mystery and lack of conversation makes it all more intense!
The moral of this story is: I am who I am, I feel who I am, I see who I am and I love it! It was not an easy place to get to, but I am finally there. With much experience, many life happenings good and bad and many, many, many mistakes have brought the inner me out. I am only human and will always make mistakes, have some bad judgment and even be dramatic. But I will do all this in a different light. I have been given so many amazing gifts in the past couple years. I cannot express how thankful I am to have the children that I have and the man that I have, the friends that I have, the family that I have! I am a very lucky woman! I have so much to live for and I can’t wait to take on all these new adventures!! I lived the chapters, not bring on THE NEXT BOOK of this life series!!!!
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