Over the years past 8-9 years, I have been faced with some very difficult times as we all have. I could have just given up; throw my hands up in the air and settle for something in a world I didn't want to be in. Instead, I went and seeked out every resource, every opportunity that I could possibly get my hands on to feed my girls, give them everything that I could. I had a guilty feeling at all times that they had to go through a divorce and deal with such a disheartening situation. As parents we want to make the best for our children and I felt like I failed at that, I know now that I was completely wrong but at the time, that is how I felt. There were so many hard times but I never let it show, never shared with anyone in my life for the most part and just did what I had to do. I was working 4 jobs at one point, but never away from the girls, I was able to work different jobs when the girls were not with me, but I still couldn't make it. That is when I decided to go to school and move forward at a fast pace. This blog is to provide some resources for help, right now is a very difficult time for so many families. The amount of help you can get also depends on the amount of income that you bring in. To qualify for state help, you pretty much have to make 0.00 dollars and this is the main reason we have so many people taking advantage of our system. I have to stress, using resources is ok to do, but only use them if you really need to and not for an excessive amount of time and the number one important lesson in this is: When you are back on your feet, please give back everywhere you can, it doesn't have to be materialistically..donate your time and efforts back into your community.
Seek your churches - Explain your situation, be honest and upfront. I had a family adopt me and the girls and it was simply amazing, I would not have had a Christmas that year if it was not for them. There are many families that do this.
Seek your townships - Although, any government agency right now is knee deep in people seeking help, but if you don't attempt, you won’t know. They have a great Xmas program as well and so many communities and business's that donate year round. At one point, the township gave me grocery coupons and paid a car payment of mine
Seek your local food pantry - Churches also have food pantries, I don’t know what I would have done without this, again...this was so demeaning to me, but when I know I had three children to feed, I knew I had to so that I could pay the bills with what little money I did have.
Seek your Housing Authority - You will go through an interview process and you qualify depending on your income, at one point, they paid my utilities for a couple months.
Seek your school districts - School for our children is very expensive, call and fill out waivers for registrations, again this is based on your income.
Seek your own Brain - Keep your heat-a/c down to a minimum, lights off when not being used, be creative in meals and make sure they are balanced well. Don't spend because you want, spend because you need. Read your paper daily in classifieds....there are things that you can do. Even if it is one time, that is money you didn't have. Focus on skills that you have and network to make money off of what you can give to someone else. I sold things on ebay, craigslist, garage sales...Remember: your junk is someone else's treasure.
Seek the internet - Even if you can’t afford it, go to the library, use friends or family...the internet is endless for resources. Please contact me further if you would like exact names and links and addresses.
It is not easy to tell the world what I went through, what I had to do to make it, but I never had to go on public aide and I only had to use these resources for one time or some for a short time. I did feel horrible due to the stereotypes that we have created, but when I looked at the faces of my girls, I knew that I needed to set that all aside and survive. I probably could have gone to more friends or family, but I needed to do this alone and know that I could survive and be independent and I did and damn proud of it. I only share because I know that there are many out there that think things are impossible and I am here to say that: That is a bunch of crap! you are the leader of your own life and you create the paths. Yes, hard times are not all that easy to get out of and they don't happen overnight. I know...all too well. I lost my home that I raised my children/ family in that I built with my own hands, that was my home...my everything...but guess what? That turned out to be a complete blessing if you knew where I lived, my house was beautiful and cozy as hell, but not the surroundings as it is today. I had to go bankrupt due to lack of someone not providing as directed by the courts and I still face that as I sit here today. I lost all the material items in my life, but I still had my babies and myself and all in good health and despite all the bad negative things, we tried to keep smiles and humor and positive thoughts, that was not an easy task at all. My famous saying is “Everything happens for a reason and I can honestly say that for pretty much every bad happening with me, something good came out of it. Maybe it is my outlook but either way, it did. I definitely made some bad decisions and was lost many times that I was seeking ways to fill voids, which was all just weakness and ignorance. I see that now and that is probably what has made me who I am today. I will say with complete confidence that at the point I am right now in my life..No one and nothing could ever break me down, No one and nothing will ever break me down again. I feel stronger than I have ever; I have no fear of others emotionally as I did my entire life. The self-confidence I have built amazes me. I never had much; I think that is why humor has always been such a big part of me, to hide my weaknesses. Humor now is just my happiness and just natural I suppose. Today, I give back to everything I can, right down to giving that extra $1.00 at the register at the pet sore. I am deeply involved in the local charity Walla-Pa-Looza as I sit on the board, hell I am not just deeply involved, it is a part of me and some of the closest and most incredible people one person could ever have in their life right there as one. I donate my clothes, any items I don't use. I give food for every food drive; I buy whatever I can with any fundraiser for local extracurricular activities. I help with advice and anything that I can. I give back to my fullest potential because so many resources were there when I needed it most. You have to seek all this; it will not always just come to you. You cannot lose the fact that you have to work for what you have. Too many people love to take and not care to give back or appreciate what they are receiving, that sickens me. As we have all heard this before, Treat people the way you want to be treated. This pays off. There is always alternatives for every happening in life, you just have to find it or better yet,,,make it! Make a difference or don't make a difference, but nonetheless Survive. I can look back now and smile, cry, regret but the mere fact is that I am where I am and I am here for a reason. I have three amazing children and together we have conquered so much. We have been through more than some and less than many but we did it together and learned so many lessons as a team. I have kept all my documentation on the resources that I had to seek out and I am more than happy to share and help out, that is what this is all about. (that was a rhyme and I didn't even try) lol. I will end this with a saying I end with one of my closest and best friends with everyone one of our conversations....."Heavy Metal"
