Shushhhhhh............... Mayhew!

Tonight was an awesome night, very inspirational with a few added feelings brought on. An extended, powerful conversation with a very special person.  Everyday I learn something and more so.... it is days and happenings like this that really make me smile. I will just say this, the past is awesome! Whether bad, good, sad, etc...to be able to take all those learning's with you and turn it into something else is the only way to go.  Do you really learn lessons in your lives? I'm asking you this, I know my answer.  I believe so many people steer off their paths of lives in fear of facing the truth or facing their fears, it is easier this way.  I can't say that I didn't do the same for probably a good part of my life, but that is not the case anymore. Finding your inner strength is like finding a magic wand.  No joke! Even if your day or an event in life is horrific, that wand can turn it into something else, maybe not immediate, but it will happen.  I talk a lot, I am an open person to my daily happenings, I am a take charge kind of Chicky, but I can say ..... I don't share my deep hidden feelings with just anyone, well I can really say that I have only shared these with one person and the reason is...to fully understand things, I feel you need to have that connection, that understanding.  Many of you would probably be shocked at what is in this little head of mine. I try and deal, not dwell but that is not easy all the time and the negative feelings can overcome quite fast and easy and all hell can break loose, but afterwards, I can always reflect and know I lost my cool and I know I should have stayed composed...BUT...the reason behind that blow out is still there and I have to tame it down again. As I have mentioned before, Music is what makes me keep going down my path, not just music, but I know I would not have made it through as easy without music.  I don't even think my family knows the importance of music in my life, maybe that is because they cannot take it seriously because I am the Queen of wrong lyrics.
I have thrived to make the life of my girls the easiest it could be, but at the same time, teach them how to deal with life's unfortunate events.  I can only hope that all my lessons to them , carry with them throughout their lives, and that they have a positive outlook on their childhood. We all make mistakes, we all go through times that we didn't make the right decisions and we will only be human and make many more.  As long as you learn from those and keep the lesson with you, you will still be on that existing path and not veer off.
Up until the last couple years, I have held onto a lot of emotions, issues, questions, concerns, pain...a lot of pain...and confusion to say the least.  All of these are still there, but not in the same capacity, now they are there but not burdening.  You may or may not understand and that is ok.
I am up at 2:00 am and I have a headache and a busy busy day tomorrow, I need to visit the dreamworld... (random again, sorry)
I will "Lay it Down" with ~ learn what you live, ~deal with the now and ~take on your future..
and...... this blogging and income from it is great but not as great as the Guess jean jacket hanging in my closet.